Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
