Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
