I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
Randomize
