I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
