i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
Randomize
