I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
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