I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Randomize
