what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
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