it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
I'm having a martini with dinner. A new level of class.
I'm stoned and eating mustard, also a new level of class.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
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