Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
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