My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
