He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us�
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
Randomize
