you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
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