Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Wakes up in a cold sweat at 3am, 136 unread messages and the preview on the notification is "I JUST GOT TO THE INCEST PART"
Randomize
