If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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