i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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