im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
