And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
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