its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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