are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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