He is such a slut. More and more my type.
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I want a musical about memes.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
