Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
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