My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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