Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
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