I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I'm sorry, our booty call lines closed at 2 am. If you are receiving this message it is our off hours. Please try again between the hours of 12pm and 2 am to reschedule your booty call. Thank you for your cooperation.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize