who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
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