BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
Randomize
