Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
