your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
