I told her Billy Mays couldn't convince me to sleep with her
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
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