love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
