Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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