i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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