I just threw up on my dentist
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
you asked how they got the microwave in the air. we had to explain three times that it was mounted there until you finally feel asleep
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