I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
