so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
