he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
