can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
