Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
people are starting to question the shark bite story
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
cat food counts as protein by the way
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
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