I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
so much tequila, so little girl.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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