ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
Randomize
