end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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