Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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