what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize
