Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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