Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans

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(859): View more from Kentucky

you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.

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(314): View more from Missouri

I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.

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(423): View more from Tennessee

She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.

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(304): View more from West Virginia

Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...

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(314): View more from Missouri

Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.

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(707): View more from California

After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.

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(347): View more from New York

Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then

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(314): View more from Missouri

there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.

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