Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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