tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Help. Why am I so naked?
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
