I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
