Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
